I have had some minor mishaps go on in my life, and they have kept me offline for most of the summer.
But like a bad case of syphilis, you know I am gonna return.

I was sitting at home relaxing the other night…

And finally had a chance log on with working internet.

Kids,
I

was not on Myspace five god damned minutes before some of these

dumb honkey mother fuckers pissed me the hell off!

Let’s start off with pubic eniema number one…
I am going to have to tell a little story about this crap chap.

If you do not know him, let me introduce you to…

CAPTAIN CIROSSIS!

AKA.

AND DOO

…and they say the english have bad teeth. I say
HORSESHIT !

…is what I think he has been chewing on for the last seventeen years to get a fucked up corroded grill like that!
Two words And Doo,
Crest. Strips.

Let me tell you a little about this wretched pile of wrinkled up withering eurotrash. (say that five times fast)
Many

of you think he is fairly new to the “scene” here on Mytwat.

But like Viagra to a Sheep molester, he has been lurking

around here like a bad odor on Earth Day for a

looong while now.

YEARS back, when I first learned of him through a friend.
(I want to keep him anonymous, so I am going to call the friend ”Tiger Rhen”)

Well,
Tiger

Rhen warned me about AndDoo because he was being harassed and stalked

by him, and it had gotten worse! Of all things, it involved “Tiger”

playing into the joke in that damned “prank straight” blog I posted

decades ago.
AndDoo was causing all

sorts of trouble for him posting and emailing screen captures of his

comments, playing it off like “Tiger” really meant these things he was

saying,
He was even trying to break up his relationship with his lover, meddling in his real life affairs. All because…
AndDoo wanted him all to himself.
(yes,

this no life having worthless pile of warm goose uterus has his

bread buttered on both sides if you know what I mean.)
Can you say OPEN UP THE CLOSET DOORS ANDREA!

THE AIR IS MUCH FRESHER OUT HERE! (but your gonna die soon anyway, so it really does not matter. But I am sure the talk with be RICH at your funeral Miss Thang.)

*smacks on rear*

DUMBASS!

ANYDICKBREATH,
Tiger had had ENOUGH. I mean this had gotten stalkerish, creepy and pretty bad, on a serious note…

But being the person that I am, a year later when old quiver liver approached me kissing my ass, I gave him a chance.
Just like I do with anyone who wants to put their tounge up my boy pussy.

I gave him,  ya know, the benefit of the doubt.
I try and do with all hearsay.
I

was nice to him. Even took up for him once. …and at one time he

seemed like a pretty cool guy. (for about 12 minutes and 45

seconds)

but…BOY DID HE HAVE ME SNOWED!
He

started stalking me, writing nasty shit about me in his “blog” and I

was apparently the talk of the ole blogtown as far as he was concerned.
(I use the term blog loose… the crap he writes has an effect not much unlike “Biffidus Regularus”.)
Then he wrote more and more and more.
…and more. And MORE.

You all know how much I adore that, but then he went too far.
He insulted my friends, and THEN started having them deleted by playing the popular “YOUR BREAKING T.O.C. DELETION GAME!”

Well you little shitstain, your day has come. Bend over the party’s over.
Snaggleteeth,  if you think I am scared of your little deleting game, THINK AGAIN PISSFLAP! First of all, I have myself whored out all over this bitch so hard my dick is raw and my computer has clamidia.

From Porn Sites, Facebook, to Youtube to Mashup radio, my

internet celebrity runs way deeper than this shithole you incontinent

dweeb. Let me put it to you like this. People will know where to find

me,
I have my own website Coloniel Pampers.
And I would

love to start a new Mytwat account. This one is infected with you and

all your seventeen fake profiles, and I guarantee you, they will not on

a new account you little crab infested elderly goon!

And ya know, I have to say, Just by the way you talk to women proves you are gay.
I have never heard a straight man degrade women the way you have.

Bad

Lisa for one was nothing but kind to you, and what did you do? Kelly Jo

is one of the nicest women I know on here? But yet you are on blogs

calling different women cunts and whores that you dont even know.

You wear that dunce cap well.

Oh,
But I forgot to tell ya’ll the good news!

Andrew is dying!

STRIKE UP THE BAND!
The years and years of alcoholism took its toll on his liver.
But according to him, he should be dying every month for the last two years.

Yo!
Andy Crapp!

JUST GO ON AND CROAK ALREADY!?!?!?!? You are one of the most miserable excuses for a male I have ever met in my 23 years of life!

You have already been around longer than Cher, cockroaches and vinegar douches combined. Clutch your autographed copy of the bible and your Rogain and walk up to that bucket and KICK THE SHIZZZNIT OUT OF IT!

But before you do, here, have a drink on me!

(dont you miss that warm sensation when you take your first shot of that delicious voddy…)

mmmmmm. mmmmmm.

…and I have heard of something that will actually help your liver.

Wash a few of these down with it.

Oh!
I forgot to tell you what Andrew does for a living!
He claims to do something besides Myspace and degrade women all day.

He is a PHOTOGRAPHER!

LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT SOME OF HIS WORK!

Here he is on the set of the movie “Mask”.
(scene with “Rocky Dennis”. Right here he is about 50 proof.)

Here is a self portrait I like to call “pretending I have friends”.
I thought black and white photos where suppost to make the wrinkles less prominant?
Sucks for you. But at least you get a ten percent discount at Dennys!

Here is a picture of AnDRAWN and his last girlfriend.

It was after this, I believe, he turned gay.

HEY, EASY ON THAT LIVER LOU LOU!

Ahhhh. He had a group similar to the Doobie brothers back in the day.
Back when he first stopped breastfeeding from his mommy.
The Boobie Brothers.
In

another note, after this photo was snapped, His mother tried

to do us all a favor and pushed him backwards. Unfortunately he

survived, but his teeth hit every damn rock on the way down.

Now this was in AndDoo’s album with the ‘caption’ “A Special friend”.
There is nothing bad I can really say about this. I am not that cruel.
Plus,

everyone knows how much I love dogs and that is one of the most

beautiful breeds I have ever seen. What is that, a Sheltie?

Oh, and the German Shepard is cute too!

AndDoo on the set of his flopped porno. Magnum Pee Pee.
(He

ended up giving so many people the clap on the set, the entire crew had

to be vaccinated and treated for full blow applause. On the plus side,

he only has herpes and syphilis at the moment.)

Here is AndDoo the way I think he looks the best.
In a corner with a dunce cap on.
You wear that cap so well.
(plus it covers that haystack of a crown of greys)

So Andrew.

HOW YA LIKE ME NOW!

NOW, LET’S MOVE ON TO A COUPLE OF “OTHERsss?” THAT MADE MY FUCKING CONTACTS FLOAT WHEN I LOGGED ON…
O.K.
First of all,

WHAT the HELL…

is this?

Of course when I logged on, I had to go Jolly hopping through ye old blog rankings, and who do I see ……….AGAIN!?!?!

He calls himself “Vomit” or something like that, and …ummmm

guys?

HAVE I NOT TOLD YOU HOW TO IDENTIFY A FAKE PROFILE BY NOW!?!?!?!?!?

I mean, I know he is a real person behind there, but all you women are swooning over a picture I got when I bought my wallet.

LISTEN UP VOMIT!

I figured you would be gone by now, seeing that Stephfunny has left the ’space.
I mean after all, THAT WAS ALL YOU EVER WROTE ABOUT?
EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.
DAY. AFTER. DAY.
BLOGS ABOUT STEPHFUNNY…
FAKE PROFILES ABOUT STEPHFUNNY…

FAKE PROFILE BLOGS ABOUT STEPHFUNNY…

MY GOD DOES MYSPACE NOT HAVE STALKER RULES!?!?!?

I wonder if she needs a restraining order. I am surprised you have not pranced around in her pumps yet?!!??

I have NEVER seen such a case of Myspace obsession since the person behind Todd/Chad/Babe left!

I bet you jackoff thinking of sniffing her granny panties don’t you?

BLECK!
Some good news, it was the first blog I read by him that was not about her.
But it was so painful, I would rather here why Rev. Al Sharpton is against gay marriage.

ON A LOOP!
A word of advice Vomit~ Get a new picture so we can see that you really look like that dashing photo frame model you portray.

I DARE YOU!
Post

it within’ 48 hours in these comments and I will not only take back

calling you a fake profile, I will do something I have never done

before.
I will apologise!

YESSSIR!
I will say those three words!

I am …mmm

I’mmmmmm.

I

…

I’mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

well, ya know what three words I am talking about.

OK.

I have others I need to talk about, but I like to keep my drama blogs under “War and Remembrance” length.

BUT!

…before I go, I HAVE to get to one that has REALLY honked me off!

A few blogs back I was talking about not being in a relationship and called the “last guy” a loser and a liar.

Well the next day he sent me a message stating “He was never talking to me again.”

*gasp!*

THE NERVE!

*clutches chest!*

I

did not even use his name? I did not call him any names, I just told

the truth, and maybe a COUPLE OF PEOPLE would have known who I was

talking about at most?
IF THAT?!?!!!?!

But yet he withdraws all friendship and contact from me for the rest of our lives.
He said he is never talking to me again…

I did not even post any bad pictures of him!?!?!!?

LISTEN YOU SNUFFELUFIGUS LOOKING MAMAS BOY FUCK!

Josh,

I just have one peice of advice for you.
GROW UP!

*blows rasberries*

Immmmout.